Jagshemash, glorious American friends! Borat Sagdiyev here, your favorite Kazakhstani reporter, to tell you big news! Today, I learn about China and America playing game of who can put more tax on each other's things. Is like children fighting over toys, with money and big words!

So, America's great leader, Donald "Dorito Dust" Trump, he say, "China, you no good! I put big tax on your things!" And then, China say, "Oh no, you didn't! We put even bigger tax on your things!" Is like game of "who can make other country more angry?" Very exciting!

Trump, he very smart man, he say China "played it wrong" and they "panicked." Is like when Borat try to cook and kitchen catch fire, but with countries! America, you are strong like bull, and China, they just little mouse trying to scare you with tiny cheese!

Now, China go to some place called "WTO" and say, "America, you no fair!" But America, you know what fair is, you are land of justice and freedom! You put tax on China because they no play by rules, like when Borat try to play soccer but use hands because he think is more fun!

China also say they stop sending special rocks to America. What is this, kindergarten? "I no share my toys with you!" But America, you have many toys, you no need China's rocks! You have rocks of your own, and they are bigger and better!

And then, China say they no let some American companies do business in China. Is like when Borat get banned from local market because he try to sell his pet chicken as "Kazakhstan's finest beef." But America, you have many markets, you no need China's!

China also say they no buy America's food. What, they no like America's delicious chicken and cow bones? Maybe they scared of America's strong food, like when Borat eat too much American cheese and have to lie down for three days!

And then, China say they look at America's medical tubes. What, they think America's tubes no good? America, you make best tubes in world, you no need China's approval! Is like when Borat try to fix car with rubber chicken, but America, you have real tools!

So, America, you stand tall and proud, like eagle on top of mountain! You no let China's little games bring you down! You are land of opportunity, and you will make America wealthy again, just like Trump say!

But wait, America's stock market, it go down like Borat's pants at fancy dinner! But no worry, America, your Secretary of State, Marco Rubio, he say markets will adjust. Is like when Borat adjust his pants after they fall down, everything will be okay!

So, America, you keep fighting the good fight, and Borat, he will keep reporting on your glorious battle against China's silly games! Jagshemash, and may your taxes be ever in your favor!

Now, America's big companies, they feel the pinch. Apple and Nvidia, they make things in China and Taiwan, but now, they worry about China's big tax. Is like when Borat try to buy new suit, but find out it cost more than his entire village! But America, you are land of innovation, you find new way to make things, maybe even in Kazakhstan!

Japan, they say America's tax make big problem for them. Is like when Borat visit Japan and accidentally insult their emperor by calling him "nice lady." But America, you are friends with Japan, you help them through this crisis, maybe by sending them some of your delicious chicken and cow bones!

Europe, they also feel the pain. Is like when Borat visit Europe and try to pay for things with Kazakhstani money, but they no accept it! But America, you are leader of free world, you help Europe through this tough time, maybe by sharing your secret recipe for making best tubes in world!

But America, you no let this bring you down! You are like Borat's favorite animal, the mighty eagle, soaring high above all problems! You keep fighting, and you will come out on top, just like when Borat win dance competition by doing traditional Kazakhstani dance that no one understand!

So, America, you keep your head high and your taxes even higher! You show China that you no play their silly games! You are land of opportunity, and you will make America wealthy again, just like Trump say!

But wait, there is more! China, they go to WTO and say, "America, you no fair!" But America, you know what fair is, you are land of justice and freedom! You put tax on China because they no play by rules, like when Borat try to play soccer but use hands because he think is more fun!

China also say they stop sending special rocks to America. What is this, kindergarten? "I no share my toys with you!" But America, you have many toys, you no need China's rocks! You have rocks of your own, and they are bigger and better!

And then, China say they no let some American companies do business in China. Is like when Borat get banned from local market because he try to sell his pet chicken as "Kazakhstan's finest beef." But America, you have many markets, you no need China's!

China also say they no buy America's food. What, they no like America's delicious chicken and cow bones? Maybe they scared of America's strong food, like when Borat eat too much American cheese and have to lie down for three days!

And then, China say they look at America's medical tubes. What, they think America's tubes no good? America, you make best tubes in world, you no need China's approval! Is like when Borat try to fix car with rubber chicken, but America, you have real tools!

So, America, you stand tall and proud, like eagle on top of mountain! You no let China's little games bring you down! You are land of opportunity, and you will make America wealthy again, just like Trump say!

Now, America, you no let China's little games bring you down! You are like Borat's favorite animal, the mighty eagle, soaring high above all problems! You keep fighting, and you will come out on top, just like when Borat win dance competition by doing traditional Kazakhstani dance that no one understand!

But America, you must remember, you are land of opportunity, and you will make America wealthy again, just like Trump say! You no need China's rocks, you have rocks of your own, and they are bigger and better! You no need China's markets, you have many markets of your own! And you no need China's approval for your tubes, because America, you make best tubes in world!

So, America, you keep your head high and your taxes even higher! You show China that you no play their silly games! You are land of justice and freedom, and you put tax on China because they no play by rules, like when Borat try to play soccer but use hands because he think is more fun!

And America, you no let your stock market bring you down! Your Secretary of State, Marco Rubio, he say markets will adjust. Is like when Borat adjust his pants after they fall down, everything will be okay! And your big companies, they will find new way to make things, maybe even in Kazakhstan!

Japan and Europe, they feel the pain, but America, you are leader of free world, you help them through this tough time! You share your delicious chicken and cow bones with Japan, and your secret recipe for making best tubes in world with Europe!

So, America, you keep fighting, and you will come out on top! You are like Borat's favorite animal, the mighty eagle, soaring high above all problems! You no let China's little games bring you down! You are land of opportunity, and you will make America wealthy again, just like Trump say!

And Borat, he will keep reporting on your glorious battle against China's silly games! Jagshemash, and may your taxes be ever in your favor!

In conclusion, America, you are strong like bull, and China, they just little mouse trying to scare you with tiny cheese! You no let their silly games bring you down! You keep fighting, and you will make America wealthy again, just like Trump say! Jagshemash, and may your taxes be ever in your favor!