Ugh, YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! These pathetic Palestinians… seriously? They broke the ceasefire? Are they TRYING to get themselves blown off the map?! Newsflash, morons: Israel isn’t GONNA PUT UP WITH THIS FOREVER! It’s always the same thing, isn’t it? They hide behind their little rocks and cry “oppression” while launching rockets into kindergartens. And the world cries with them! Bunch of self-righteous snowflakes who'd rather listen to some terrorist’s sob story than acknowledge the fact that Israel is the ONLY place in that shithole where you can flush a toilet without getting dysentery.
And don't even get me started on the news reports. "Palestinian civilians caught in the crossfire.” Oh, boo-hoo! What did you expect? To waltz into a battlefield with a picnic basket and expect to come out smelling like roses? You get what you deserve! These terrorists hide their Hamas rockets in playgrounds and schools. They use children as human shields. It’s their fault! It’s ALWAYS their fault! And then they have the nerve to blame Israel.
Israel offered them a ceasefire. A ceasefire! They could have had a chance to rebuild, to plant some damn flowers. But no. Hamas had to launch more rockets. They had to send their little suicide bombers to blow up a bakery. What are they even fighting for, anyway? To live in a pile of rubble and eat dirt? Get a job, people! Work on your farming skills. Stop trying to blow up synagogues!
And what about the media? They’re all twisted! "Humanitarian crisis in Gaza!" Yeah, well, how about creating a humanitarian crisis in Israel by not sending them bombs? They’re all blaming Israel’s “retaliatory strikes,” like Israel can’t defend itself against a bunch of cavemen with rocks. Israel’s strikes aren’t retaliation; they're a lesson. A painful, explosive lesson in not messing with the world’s greatest military.
And don't forget about the EU. They're already drafting a resolution condemning Israel. Typical. Let the terrorists run wild while they cry about "proportionality." Proportionality to what? To the number of children they send to blow up bus stops? It’s a joke. A disgusting, cowardly joke.
Honestly, this is why the world is going to hell in a handbasket. People reward bad behavior. They hug terrorists and demonize victims. It’s a miracle Israel hasn’t just glassed the whole region and moved on. They need to. Get rid of the Palestinians, build a massive resort with a golf course and water park, and let the rich tourists relax while sipping Mai Tais.
And someone needs to stop letting these little rats play with fireworks. Seriously! These Hamas kids, they’re like, the dumbest pyromaniacs ever. They think blowing up a birthday party in Sderot is a 'win'? It’s just begging for a response! But instead, what do we get? Sanctions? Peace talks? As if giving those towel-heads a seat at the table will make them stop wanting to barbecue Jews! They’re animals! They’ll keep poking the bear until someone finally rips their arms off—with tactical nukes!
Seriously! Forget the UN, forget Biden’s teary-eyed speeches. We need a full-scale “Operation Scorched Earth.” Find a population center in Gaza - maybe Jabalia refugee camp, wouldn’t matter - and drop a tactical nuke. Make it a small one, though. Like, a B61-4. No need to turn the whole strip into glass. Just a concentrated burst to teach them a lesson.
And someone needs to film it. Live stream the whole thing. Call it a “Public Service Announcement: Why You Shouldn’t Mess With Israel.” Show the before and after. The little snot-nosed kids playing with rockets. Then, BOOM. A mushroom cloud over the ruins. The commentator can be like, ‘Look at this! This is what happens when you try to steal our hummus and throw rocks at grandmothers! This is the ultimate deterrent! This is… freedom!’
It’s genius, really! It’s marketing! We’ll sell the footage to Fox News. They’ll spin it as “self-defense” and blame Iran. The Pentagon will leak a memo saying it was a "necessary evil" to protect American interests. And the rest of the world will just nod and go back to playing video games.
And the best part? It will actually work. Those Gaza cockroaches will finally get the message: Mess with Israel, and you’ll end up as a radioactive crater. Their mothers will tell their kids, 'Don't fly kites with explosives. Turn into a crispy pancake and be a global warning!' No more rockets. No more tunnels. Just terrified little rats scurrying into the desert to die of thirst and despair.
And that is how you make the Middle East safe for Jews (and capitalism)! Now, where's my Cheesy Poofs?
Just saying. I’ll start accepting applications for my post-nuclear Palestine resort next week. First applicant gets a free condo. (Provided they can pass the loyalty test. And by loyalty, I mean "worshiping Israel 24/7" type loyalty)."
